We all love it when someone else scratches our back. In fact, we love it so much that we would rather have someone else take care of that nagging “itch”, than to try to sooth the troublesome sensation ourselves. We will come up with creative techniques and ways to allure others to help us. We play the role of helpless so that another will reach out and take care of our needs. Then our goal is to never feel those annoying symptoms of that “itch” again!
I’m sure you can relate to this in one way or another. We have been trained to create an illusion of control by getting others to meet our needs. The ironic part is that we work one hundred times harder than we would if we would just do it for ourselves. I think the truth of the matter is that it can feel better when someone else does it for you, but if you become dependent upon it, you can become manipulated, spellbound, and left feeling helpless by the shear letting go of our choice to help ourselves. Now I’m not suggesting that you say everyone is off the hook, and that you be the only one to take care of your own needs, but that you take responsibility for filling in when others don’t or can’t. That you won’t try and trick others to see that you’re empty, and that you won’t manipulate situations to get your needs to be more important than someone else’s.
Why you say? Because the old way of getting your needs met can leave you frustrated, enslaved, helpless and empty. It leads to a life of longing, rather than a life of fulfillment. I want more for you. I want you to be so full that your cup runneth over! The way to do this is by noticing where the world is falling short in meeting your needs. These are areas to work on and invest in yourself. The most amazing part of this work is that in these places there are treasures awaiting you, much like a hidden oasis. If you look up the definition of an oasis, it’s just that – a small fertile area in a desert or region that brings relief, like a spring or a well.
These areas where you weren’t fed in childhood now hold hidden waters deep within. The only challenge is that you have to dive head first into these unexplored caverns. Watch out for flash floods, trips and falls, falling rocks, getting lost, temperature changes and dehydration. Preparing is the key to any adventure!
Let’s look at each one of these possible pitfalls and prepare to explore safely. You may have flashes of emotions. Trust them, but don’t doubt the dangers of loosing yourself to them. Remember you are not your emotions. Let them pass by staying open, don’t over analyze them and make sure your outside environment is safe so you won’t be in harm’s way while investigating the caverns.
Watch what steps you are taking in life. Are they wise? Do they lead you to where you want to go? Know that things may fall on you when you feel vulnerable. How do you want to handle them? How can you avoid them? Sometimes you may need a guide, someone to help you find your way, like a counselor or a friend; especially in areas you don’t know how to handle.
Keep in mind that moods may be up and down. We know that moods are lots of emotions that have lost their original source as to why the emotion was even created; allow space to sort them out. Finally, make sure you drink lots of water and eat well. This will help you stay grounded and centered during challenges. The food will keep you strong and the water is connected to the source of life, and staying connected is a key component to getting you through challenges.
As you can see this will be an adventure, but one worth taking. As any great adventurer can tell you, living a full life is worth taking risks. Start filling in the holes and know that you are going to be so full you won’t be able to help but to share your blessings with the world! As Eckhart Tolle says – Life is an adventure, not a packaged tour. Step out of your box and LIVE!